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Shaz51
Community Guide

Re: Dark Skies

Things are sounding more positive @Wanderer Smiley Very Happy

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Dark Skies

Good to hear things are moving forward in a few different ways @Wanderer. Waiting on anything is hard, so I feel for you with the June testings. Like with @Shaz51. thinking of you both with your respective upcoming testings. Heart

I contacted a higher authority about the sleep test data connection issue and am waiting on hearing something more positive about getting it working soon. Have had to cancel 3 gp appointments so far because of it. I think my adrenals burnt out with the stress of everything! 

That's wonderful to hear of interested buyers for your farm! Maybe the one who misses out on this farm will go for the other farm. 

A listening ear, some understanding and support along with a few encouraging words can really bring some light back into ones' life, can't it. So glad you're feeling a bit better today, hope it lasts for you! 

Waves to @Shaz51 @Faith-and-Hope @soul @frog @those who wander by. 

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Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Dark Skies

OH, my @Wanderer such things are so hard to bear. Do you carry a spare set of keys for such occasions? Sure, perhaps not the most desired solution, but gives you some independance in such a situation. 

My 'fix the overall difficulty of the situation' brain wants to suggest how much it sounds like the family situation could do with some management processes for dealing with how this lady is, rather than trying to change her into something she is not. We all have our idiosyncracies and part of living is learning to deal with them, ours and other peoples'. 

It doesn't make it any less painful for you, or anyone else, right now, but if there are consistent issues of this type, management, rather than attempts at forcing her to be what she just can't be, might be more productive for everyone and the situation.

I dunno, I might be full of the proverbial .... just thinking outside the boxes .... Smiley FrustratedSmiley Embarassed

Eh, my kids taught me a heap of things I didn't know I needed to know. Your lady had enough empathy, compassion and everything else to birth and tend the child/ children for at least some part of their upbringing ...  I'd hope for some kindness to make a breakthrough somewhere.

We don't know what goes on in another's mind, oft times, even though we believe we are the closest to a person, there are things we cannot know about what has happened to them. Those hidden experiences can come back in later life to take great chunks out of the foundation of what we thought life was going to be. Smiley Sad(As a thought recently my careproviders have indicated I am on the aspergers/ autism spectrum and never been officially diagnosed because - older female)  

Maybe your lady is going through a pain she cannot face, or talk about, for fear of it coming to pass. Smiley Sad

What you are going through yourself will be having a massive, but totally different, impact on her, which I'm sure you understand. Perhaps all she can focus on is how to keep herself safe in the incredibly changing times she is facing along with you. Fear of the unknown can make us do strange and seemingly illogical things. 

Doesn't make it right, doesn't make it easy, but it might provide an idea for you to get others to gently, quietly, ease into finding some support for her without coming right out with it, which might frighten her too much to be helpful. 

I get the feeling it's like when you know you're going to be finishing school in a few months, and you know you're going to be moving away from everyone you've known, and because it hurts so much to think about that prospect, you start making the move BEFORE it happens so you're the one in control of how you feel. 

I hope that makes sense in explaining what I'm trying to say. (and if I've said to much or been offensive, I am so truly sorry)  

I really hope and trust that someone can find some help for all of you in this trying situation. 

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Wanderer
Senior Contributor

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Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Dark Skies

I have suffered chronic pain myself from my chest wound neuropathy from my 2 open heart surgeries.  They were very painful and the pain didn't go away for years.  I found mindfulness therapy to be more helpful than the narcotics at treating the pain.  That and acupuncture.  I recommend checking them out.

Re: Dark Skies

Good morning @Wanderer .....

I hear what you are saying, but I don’t believe @SunShower left over this post (above) ..... 

We are all here for complex reasons, and people leaving can be for complex reasons too.  Often it can be that they are not feeling responded to enough, and the ebb and flow of the forums, centred around mental health issues, can be rapidly changing, turbulent, and confusing.

It also causes great heartache when there is upset and fall-out, and we can’t be sure whether this affects a decision to leave .... or the level of support and camaraderie that exists around some people and some threads for a multitude of different reasons.

I am often shy of tagging long lists of people in case I miss someone who is feeling vulnerable, who then feels overlooked as well, but the lack of tagging can be problematic for the same reason ..... people often want to be tagged, and feel as though they are going unnoticed if they are not.

I encountered a major dip in our rollercoaster last week, and when that happens I reduce the number of threads I contribute to as a means of coping, but stay connected on a few.  If that occurs simultaneously with a number of people, that can leave others feeling a little abandoned, and they may take it as personal when it is not intended that way.

It can also be overwhelming when a high number of forumites are in serious distress.  While the forums are not able to provide crisis counselling, members in crisis do post here, often seeking that intitial support where others help them to reach towards crisis care services, but even then, there are some situations around crisis care services that wash back onto the forums too, with elevated distress for everyone involved.

Nobody, and no institution or service is perfect.  We are all trying the best we can with what we have and what we find available, and I do know that once someone like @SunShower touches my life here, they remain with me in my thoughts and care ..... and I hope she misses us too, enough to return, if whatever the reasons which lie behind her decision are resolveable.

I hope this helps.

🌷F&H

Re: Dark Skies

Hi @Former-Member ..... 👋

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