Lived Experience Forum

[darrenhayes]

Are you going out?
And how much
Does he pass messages on to you
After the event

If he does any of these things seek help

[Former-Member]

hi @Former-Member

ok, if you're feeling unsafe from yourself please do reach out for help... regardless of your partners feelings/wants. My ex also tried to limit my contact with my gp and made it difficult for me. Luckily my gp was so lovely she would see me without making an appointment and wouldnt write things up. after my ex took my meds away because he didnt want me on them she found a way for me to get them. I think my ex didnt want me on meds, getting stronger and better and more able to 'fight back' in any sort of way or leave. He was so insecure and afraid of me leaving all the time.. but i think he knew that noone should have to go through what he did to me.. i don't know.

Keep your appointment, can you ask your friend to help you get to your appointment so that you don't miss it. 

If you're feeling really unsafe, in anyway, please take yourself to the ER. it might be that you need some space and time in hospital to help with everything, including the intrusive thoughts.

lj

[Former-Member]

I am just so exhausted. I am still working full time asi'm trying to keep things as normal as possible, but it's so hard, I am so tired. I could sleep forever.

My friend that is helping me is going to take me, which is good because i'd never make it to an appointment by myself.

[Former-Member]

very glad your friend is taking you 🙂 I can understand that exhaustion. I have the same... also working full time (i think as a human juggler). i keep getting told to look after myself and do the self care stuff. i havent been very good at it lately, but im sure it is good for us. Can you do something nice for you? even just having a coffee or a long shower etc...
lj

[Whim]

Hi @Former-Member

I agree with the first posts that I read. I always say to my clients "Go with your gut", if you feel it isn't right, then start to find a way to address it that is SAFE and OK with you. I'm so sorry you have obviously had some trauma in your past, I can relate to that. Someone (forgive me whoever you are, special person!) suggested a helpline?? Maybe try that?? Whatever you decide to do, we are here for you and care. Please let us know how you are going. 

Whim x

[LustStarrr]

Just wanted to reiterate the helpfulness of the 1800RESPECT resources, & to let you know they also have a mobile phone app too, in addition to the website & telephone services.  It's called Daisy, & it's an incognito, unassuming app which masquerades as a boring, girly chat app, but contains all the information & links from the website, in a secretive manner.  https://www.1800respect.org.au/daisy/ It's great for those who are worried about their partner accessing their browser history, or overhearing a phone call, or similar.

I'd also like to mention Relationships Australia, who may be of assistance.  https://www.relationships.org.au/  They can be contacted both by phone or online as well.  And perhaps you can find some more information to help you through a specialised trauma survivor support service, such as BlueKnot (for survivors of childhood trauma - http://www.blueknot.org.au/), or Phoenix, (for anyone who is a trauma survivor - http://phoenixaustralia.org/recovery/).

And sending positive energy your way too, because what you're going through must be exhausting, & confusing.  Just remember you're not alone, & there's a bunch of services out there, & all of us here, if you need to ask for help.

[Former-Member]

Thank you for your replies!

I have been struggling a lot. I tried to go into hospital, my Dr suggested it was the best way to keep me safe. It turns out the private mental health hospital closes over Christmas, so they suggested to wait till after Christmas!

I feel like I just can't catch a break! 😞
I cannot get these intrusive thoughts out of my head 😞

[Shimmer]

Hi @Former-Member,

Sorry to hear that you can't be admitted into a private hospital until after Christmas.

Do you have some strategies that sometimes help quieten or distract from those intrusive thoughts?

[Former-Member]

Hi @Former-Member

i'm sorry to hear that you cant get the support you need right now. Did the dr suggest any other services to help you at the moment? If you are really feeling unsafe, please go to a public hospital. I spent time in a public holiday and it was a crappy time in my life but it wasnt so bad, and i did get help. Though i feel like im spiralling down again at the moment.. like you with the thoughts and memories that dont stop. 

Glad you've posted here again, dont forget there is lifeline as well.

take care, here listening

LJ

[Former-Member]

I'm just trying to keep myself busy as much as I can! I'm still working full time, even though I had a breakdown last week!

I've been up to the public hospital a couple of times, but left soon after because the wait was so long!