Lived Experience Forum

[Appleblossom]

@Sans911 I went to about 18 schools. You have gone quiet. Sorry.

Hugs 

[Sans911]

I fell asleep @Appleblossom. No need to be sorry.

[Sans911]

Wow @Appleblossom I vaguely remember some of that. Please forgive my crappy memory. That was a pretty difficult time for me.

That's a lot for you to contend with at an age when you were starting school, the development of greater socialisation skills, making friends & learning.

I always struggled with being loyal to my mother. Even now. Sometimes people don't understand but I'm sure you do. She still has the capacity to hurt me deeply at times, but I understand where that comes from (or at least I think I do).

That must be difficult to be or feel against your mother if you feel that loyalty.

[outlander]

@Sans911 💜💜💜

[Battlemouse71]

Thanks @Sans911. I'm doing ok. Trying to find healthier ways to cope with anxiety and depression so have been meditating again and it has been really helpful. Poor sleep the last few nights haven't helped... often happens around the full 🌕 moon. 

[Sans911]

Really nice to hear from you @Battlemouse71. I'm glad meditation helps; it helps me too. Do you use any apps, as I can suggest some if you like.

Don't give up trying to find healthier ways to cope. It takes time and effort. So you may fall back on your usual ways. That's not all bad. It's what you know. Be gentle with yourself and don't set your expectations too high. You sound motivated and determined so keep it up. You're doing alright. Hugs

[Battlemouse71]

Thank you @Sans911. You are very kind and your words motivate me as well. And yes I have to try to not beat up on myself as much. I fell back to old coping mechanisms just the other day, but it isn't the actual act that is the worst, it is how I think about myself afterwards in such negative ways. 

[Appleblossom]

@Sans911 

No need to apologise about your memory. I could see you were going through hell at the time, in hospital etc.  

I stood up for and stood in for my mother, for so long, but she never did that for me, in fact she came to ridicule me for looking like a poor girl lost in an orphanage when I was in late 30s and in serious physical pain.  So many different forms of mental torture.  She was more fond of the german soldiers that were being billeted in the war, than her own first born girl in Australia. Her cruelty to me was very subtle. Yet if I did not mediate things around her things would have been even worse.  I cant complain about her like a lot of people complain about their mothers.  It was all too deep and awful for too long, but life and death and other people's (sibs) issues always pressing.

I am really glad you are still around and posting here and doing your study and MH advocacy work. 

[eth]

s @Sans911 @Appleblossom   and hello to all here @Battlemouse71 @outlander @Flying_Hams  @Snowie  following along here as I am able, but laying pretty low the last few days.  Haven't got a lot of words to share atm.

Sending you all warm wishes and a peaceful night.

[outlander]

👍 to all posts. Only have my phone  atm. @eth @Appleblossom 💖

Enjoy the disscussion @eth  to hard to join in on my phone so will read it tomorrow. 

@Sans911  how did you go today? 💜