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Looking after ourselves

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Well I got my assessment submitted. Less than 50% complete but hoping it will be enough to pass the subject. 

It is combination of disappointed in myself for the sub par effort and relief that deadline has passed and what is done is done. 

Darling and FIL are heading off on a road trip tomorrow so it will be me and the boys for the next week. 

Glad I don't have the assessment hanging over me so that I can focus on our boys who will be missing their mum.  

At least this time her absence is not under duress. I was contemplating that recently and the flood of emotions rattled me a bit. It proves that emotions are buried rather than dealt with, something to discuss at my next counselling appointment,   

 

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Checking in @Determined how are things? 

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Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Pic says it all @Darcy  lol

 

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

hello @Determined 

how is your saturday going

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Had a review with GP today.

Have a referral for a psychologist. 

This time the aim is for some more targeted thearapy. In the past it has been around getting through the next week.  Getting general counselling for that through a different avenue. So hoping for some closure in some areas of past. 

Doc mentioned ptsd like symptoms. 

Particularly around irrational anxieties while darling was away this past week. 

 

Was  able to also discuss concerns around darling wanting to stop/ change meds. 

My feedback was valued and concerns validated. Hoping at darlings consult next week any changes may be delayed. 

And after this she remains compliant. 

Since starting these meds the only time we have had any problematic behaviour has been when meds have been missed. 

 

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Struggling to know at the moment how to support darling in her weight concerns.

Yes she is a little more cuddly than she used to be but imho she was unhealthy thin.

She thinks I am not taking her seriously but what she sees in the mirror is not what I am seeing ☹

 

 

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Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

@Determined 

I know with Mr Darcy that a little empathy re meds helped, was more in the vein of how much better he is on the meds, bugger about side effects, what can we do to help combat them. Mr Ds then constipation was the impetus for us to start our healthy eating plan. 

I only ever refer to healthy eating, have not used that 4 letter word that begins with D. 

I don't know if you have regular desserts, but limiting them to a number days of the week. I know growing lads are bottomless pits so one needs to be mindful of that too.

Having regular family outings that encourage exercise ie that involve a walk or bike riding can help.

It is hard for you when compliments are rejected, but perhaps by giving them in front of others ie if a friend comments how she is back home, saying something along the line of missing the best looking family member and the like.  Being complimentary when only your boys are around is important too, important as they need to learn how to treat women with respect, when you are going out say how nice Mum looks in a particular outfit, showing general appreciation as well as saying how nice a meal is (particularly healthy ones) etc. etc.

 

I am not surprised PTSD symptoms are evident. One of Mr Ds pdocs suggested I get some help at one stage as  "being Mr Ds doc she could not treat me so I must have been showing adequate symptoms for her to say something. (I did take her advice and went and got counseling.) Fast forward 3 years on when we were moving we bumped into one of the CATT team members who had attended to Mr D a number of times and he kept saying he could not believe how well I looked (not how well Mr D looked).

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

Thanks for the feedback @Darcy 

I agree re the D word.

As we already eat ok I like to frame it that we are not eating bad. We just need to eat different. Combination of age and stage of life as well as meds.  I am just starting a new ad med that carried high likelihood of weight gain So will be moreso leading by example with exercise and eating...

Have a plan re exercise and eating.

That is started and developing so we are not starting from scratch in that department. 

 

Hardest thing for me with the rejection is that she is more concerned about what former friends 'may think' than what her husband actuallt thinks  😕

But I keep telling her anyway. 

 

And I am well pleased that all of our boys often tell mummy how pretty she is. Which she is. She juat needs to believe it.

Any way. Inner beauty is the most important thing. Being a cutie is juat a bonus 😍

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

I am really hoping for me with new meds sleep will improve. If I can get a solid 6 to 8 hours with my cpap remaining attached it make a world of difference . At the moment I am lucky to get 4 to 6 hours of broken sleep. Has been like that for longer than  I can remember.

And I have some really positive direction on what to request with upcoming counselling. 

Some targeted areas that have really been highlighted in recent times.  

Re: Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

The value of good sleep underrated when we were young @Determined . Trust you are able to get some improvement in that department Bro.

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