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Looking after ourselves

Bb82
Casual Contributor

Struggling with weekends

A month ago the guy I was seeing for the last year decided I wasn't for him and broke up with me. Honestly it wasn't a great relationship, there were alot of doubts in feelings, not feeling completely comfortable with each other and both with mental health issues playing on each other.

 

Since then I have really struggled with my weekends. Despite having 3 kids with me constantly and a house to run I just can't seem to escape the funk. Through the week I have work to escape in and kids before bed and by then I'm exhausted and go to sleep. 

 

Weekends I wake up lonely, wish I had someone to have a coffee with, share things with and enjoy life with. I just can't shake the feeling and have spent the majority of the weekend in tears, hiding from people so they don't see me cry and hating myself because I dont know why I am so disposable to people. 

 

I don't know how I get back to just me being me.. alone

22 REPLIES 22

Re: Struggling with weekends

Good evening @Bb82 ,

 

Welcome to the forums. Thank you for having the courage to reach out and share what has been going on for you.

 

I can resonate with what you are saying - only too much. In the past,  I struggled a lot with my MH on the weekends. I’d often find myself unable to cope.

 

Just like you, I had work and other things to keep me in check during the week, but when it came to the weekends, I’d hide myself from the world and break down in tears.

 

It took a lot of therapy and encouragement from my treating team to schedule things on the weekends like it would be on weekdays. 

Nowadays, I look forward to weekends just so I can relax and see people - which I never did in the past!

 

Another thing to note, it sounds like you are trying to manage a huge change in your life. This takes time, be gentle with yourself.

 

Id encourage you to continue reaching out, whether here on the forums or to your own networks and supports.

 

There IS light at the end of the tunnel. Take this transition slowly and encourage yourself to feel.

 

Hugs,

tyme

Re: Struggling with weekends

Thank you for your response. I'm so glad you found peace after your struggle

Re: Struggling with weekends

@Bb82 

 

I guess life is an on-going struggle (especially with three children!), yet these struggles are there to make us better people?

 

Honestly, if I didn't have the struggles I have had, I could not have the compassion, understanding and drive to support others. 

 

So while this is a tough space for you, your resilience will guide you through. 

 

People are always around on the forums 24/7, so you will never be alone.

 

If you want to tag a member to your message, you can type "@" in front of their name. 

 

These forums are also moderated 24/7. You can tag a @moderator like so 🙂

 

Looking forward to seeing you around. You can also join us for a cuppa at Share a cuppa? 

 

Kindest, 

tyme

Re: Struggling with weekends

Hi @Bb82 

 

Welcome to the forums! I'm so glad you found us here. I can relate to what you are saying about weekends being tough. I used to be a single mum and spent the weekdays busy with work and caring for my daughter. Come the weekend I'd feel at a loss. I felt like all my friends were part of a couple and I would feel so alone. I realised I had to find something to do that I enjoyed and I had to reach out to people as much as I could and organise things to do on the weekends. Eventually things changed but it took some time to shake that lonely weekend feeling. 

I hope you get some others chime in with tips about how to cope on weekends. 

Sending hugs

hanami 💮

Re: Struggling with weekends

I can relate to this @Bb82 there was a time I was in a relationship that I wanted to escape from and I'd really dread the weekends. These days I'm so busy with life that when I have a moment to myself I literally don't know what to do and become so overwhelmed. I'm wondering if it's the break in routine for you? You mentioned you find the week easier cause you go to work, have the kids to care for and it sounds like you have distractions. Would it be helpful to plan out your weekend or have a weekend routine? Perhaps there's a social group you could join in your area. Volunteering is a great way to connect with people.

 

I have found these days I've had to re-learn how to be present and comfortable in my own company so I really do empathise with those feelings. 

There is always someone here to chat to, so jump online and pass the time with us anytime you like 😊

 

Re: Struggling with weekends

Hi @Bb82 

Just like many other people who have responded I can relate to this as well.

 

For me to get back to myself, I do things that I enjoy. After one break up, I read all the twilight books hahaa seemed to help immensely as allowed me to relax and forget about things for a while and did enjoy the series. I know with 3 kids this may be a tad difficult. 

 

Do you have mates who you can visit or they can visit you or you could meet at the playground for a catch up?

 

My suggestion would be to go easy on yourself and give it time. You will be fine and one day soon you will notice you back to yourself 🙂

 

Take care

Re: Struggling with weekends

Have you thought about doing things where you could both break out on your own and increase the chance of bumping into people? Have you considered putting together a plan for how you could pass the time…

 

- going for a walk for however how long

- going to the local park (possibly just having a seat somewhere and observing the activity)

- plonking yourself in a cafe and closing your eyes while you inhale some fresh coffee (chats with other patrons and waitresses an be fascinating)

- scheduling some phone time with your family/supports

- bury yourself in the kitchen with a tried and trusted or new recipe (even better when you’re just cooking for yourself sometimes)

 

Suggestions only. While other people are necessary and enrich our lives, I’d suggest that finding pleasure in your own company can also be a good way to pass the time.

 

Hope things improve for you soon.

Re: Struggling with weekends

Hi @Bb82 ,

 

I was passing through and wanted to check-in to see how things are going for you.

 

How are you?

tyme

Re: Struggling with weekends

Hi @tyme
Ive couldn't work today or yesterday because I couldn't get daycare for my youngest. Spent so much money avoiding being at home. Wandered around various garden nurseries planning my edible garden patch. Nice having something to think about but as soon as I get back home the tears flow. Back to work tomorrow but hoping I can bare being home enough on the weekend to make a start on the garden. Thank you for checking in, means alot
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