Lived Experience Forum

[Harry]

Hi everyone

I would like to share a little bit about some lifestyle changes that I have made/am making in relation not only to my general health but in particular to my mental health (bi - polar disorder type 2 and social anxiety disorder). Throw in some OCD and also episodes of psychosis.

Over the years I have self medicated with just about every illegal drug that's out there, prescription drugs both legal and obtained otherwise and the good old legal alcohol and tobacco.

I can now see a faint glimmer of a light at the end of the tunnel and it is a good feeling which can be a rare blessing. Firstly I no longer use illegal "street drugs" and havent now for 18 months.I have stopped Doctor shopping for the legal drugs (I won't mention any here so as not to assist others in doing so). I am currently taking a medication to assist me with stopping smoking and that is going brilliantly.

The big thing for me in the self medication department was/is and perhaps always will be is alcohol. As alcoholism falls into the area of mental health it is a real tough thing firstly to come to terms with and secondly to respond to or ACT on in a positive way. I don't want to go into the Psychology side of things here but simply to say that for me the time had come when real hard decisions had to be made.

Sometimes choices and decisions are made for us because they have to be and sometimes we are fortunate enough to be able to make our own choices and decisions.

I have already mentioned a couple of specific choices and decisions I have made and this includes not consuming alcohol. The benefits so far are amazing. Firstly lets just say that on the financial side of things I am not spending my disability Support on supporting my disability but rather on improving my physical and mental health with a view to returning to the workplace.

On the whole my mental health, I believe is improving. I no longer wake up anxious, spend my day anxious and go to bed anxious, thats not to say that my old friend is never too far away, but I have steps in place for this (my own anxiety would escalate into panic attacks which many time required hospitalisation).

I am trying to keep this coherent lol as I do tend to waffle a bit when I set out to write down my thoughts (it's very easy for me to turn a two thousand word assessment into a twenty thousand word assessment lol).

The changes I have made have given me back some of my confidence to go out in public places. A great example of this was that I took myself off to the zoo for the day yesterday and as you could imagine that was a challenge being in an enviroment that I had no control over.

I guess what I am getting at with this post is that for me the lifestyle choices/changes I have made and am constantly making are starting to show positive results in my life and I know that they will continue to do so as I work on them.

I am only too happy to openly discuss anything I have talked about here.

Thanks for reading

Harry

[Alessandra1992]

Good on you Harry! The changes you have been making take a lot grit and hard work, but the changes that have occurred because of your determination have you enjoying life and being able to inspire to others too! I waffle on a lot too, but I admire good waffle too! I totally relate to anxiety and panic...glad those days are now few and far between..and not so long in duration if I do get anxious...

[Harry]

Hey Alessandra1992

Thanks for your positive reply. I am very glad that you like a good waffle (both to eat and to write LOL). It's good to hear that your anxiety and panic is at a more comfortable level.

Harry

[PeppiPatty]

Hi Harry,
so glad to be reading your story.
Thank you,

Can I ask you a question? I feel confident in asking you because you write at the end of your message that you are happy to discuss


Did you use alcohol and illegal substances to 'cope,' after being diagnosed ?

Can you write of your journey?

From Justanother47yr

[Harry]

Hey there justanother47yr

Thanks heaps for reading my story and taking time to reply.

I'm more than happy to reply. That is a real chicken or the egg question about the alcohol and other drugs (AOD). I was diagnosed around 15 years ago with the bi - polar and anxiety. After much reflecting on my life, soul searching and that wonderful thing called hindsight i would have to say that I started to self medicate as a way to cope even before I knew what was wrong (early teens).

It's interesting with the bi - polar though. I cannot know for sure wheather the alcohol triggered the bi - polar (I started drinking at around 10 years of age) or perhaps it was hereditary as there is a family history of mental illness. But I do know for sure that as a young teen I certainly had extremes of highs and lows. The drug taking started at around the age of twenty or so.

I can certainly write more about my "journey" if you feel that it would be of benefit to you. Just let me know........It's a quiet week for me with school this week so have plenty of time.

I hope this was OK?

Harry

[Alessandra1992]

Can't remember last panic attack Harry so I am pretty chuffed about that, but neither do I fear it as now I know it is just a feeling, getting hijacked by my Brain..
Anxiety, well sometimes I think is it anxiety? Or is just a little bit of ordinary stress that may motivate me to get deadlines met?
Main thing is I feel no shame anymore, coz you know, initially I felt like I was lacking resilience, skills, I was weak, useless, should be able to cope..
Getting some peer support from Grow and psychs normalised that a) not the only one and b) I could recover..
Yay they were right...still need to work at it but more in terms of keeping life in a good balance, looking after myself, and not overdoing the late nights..coz a spell of late nights with no downtime..well it makes me unreasonable to be around. But I think most people get unreasonable if we r dog tired..

[PeppiPatty]

Dear Harry,
Thank you for your reply.

I'm going to answer you in pointers and refer to my son ....hope that's okay.

I can search my old dusty archives in my head to remember that my son started displaying " moods," at a young age of about 8 years old.. I remember his moods as pretty extreme but.....he was young so .....usually easily ignored. I dealt with it......it was some years ago.... His father also same extreme moods..... He's diagnosed bi polar.

What would you say, when you were 20 years old to 30years old. if a loved one like family / friend showed concern ?

Would you think that it's true the saying.....'what you do as a teenager sets you up for life? '

Harry, I think your gutsy for being honest.
I would enjoy reading your journey.

[PeppiPatty]

Hi Harry,

How are you?

[Harry]

Hey justanother7yr

I am doing very well thanks. I have been flatout with school and workplace placement and also a few other community concerns I am involved in. So I havent been around the forums for a while.

Thanks for the shout out!

Harry