Lived Experience Forum

[Shaz51]

ouch @Thesumofus 

ihave sore and puffy feet daily xx

[Thesumofus]

They said i have ptsd as well, and possibly other things going on, i have only just cracked open pandoras box, so to speak. Since i was diagnosed with " a dissociative disorder " six years ago. Everything sort of broke down and has now spiralled down to losing my family and my home. I am extremely lucky to have a friend who has let me into his home while it all plays out.

Its been a pretty full on six years and an even more hardcore 5 months. I have not seen my children since the first of aug, and when they saw me last i wasnt much to look at. I am tired. So tired.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Thesumofus,

Just real quickly I will let you know that I am Harmony, babydragon is having a tough time lately so me and the other system protector Sapphire are going to be mostly out.

But we are good with questions and help just the same. It sucks that you have so much going on it is hard to to stay as one when it is stressful. I find it interesting how you compare yourself to being exactly like the people in solit and glass. We find that we don't relate to that much at all especially the reference to everyone just sits in chairs till it's their turn. 

We are not like that in our system we have a whole inner world. Also while we can switch as quickly and sometimes even more often than they do it is not as seamless as the show depicts we suffer from headaches and dizziness and even nausea when we switch to fast or to frequently.

I will admit though that I wasn't here from the beginning I have only been part of the system for 3 years apart from baby dragon, Sarah and Kelly are the alters who have been here there longest they have been in the system since body was 10.

[Thesumofus]

@Former-Member hi harmony, nice to meet you. I was more referring to the behaviours of some of the alters in those movies. I dont communicate with them though. I have an alter that is very animalistic but still maintains a protective direction when it comes to me. Malakai, is like a personal assistant...vefy efficient, assertive and gets things done. The others arent worth mentioning right now as i dont want to stir things up, if you know what i mean.

[Former-Member]

Oh I get it @Thesumofus, yeah we have animals in our system too. Sapphire and strudel are both wolf shape shifters. In our inner world they spend most of their time as wolves but both are real friendly as long as we don't feel threatened. We also have a mermaid and a dragon in our system but neither of them surface. And we also have our demon Holly who is currently locked away because she is dangerous.

[Thesumofus]

@Former-Member why do you call it a system?

[Former-Member]

Hello @Thesumofus, 

I'm Daisy, I'm 13. We refer to ourselves as a system because that's what makes sense to us as we function as a system. Every alter has a job in helping either the host feel and stay safe or keeping the inner world in order. 

So for example I am artistic and when the host is stressed but is making it difficult for others to surface I am one of a few that co-con to help give ideas on how relax obviously I suggest craft stuff and give he options. I also help in the inner world with the littles. Littles are alters that are under 10, im a middle alters between 10 and 17 and 18+ are bigs. So we refer to ourselves as a system because to keep everything calm and going smoothly we have to work as system.

[Thesumofus]

Cool. I think my setup is like a code amber, code red, code black type thing. When im in trouble they react to the situation.i reckon its not as complex as your system. I think its more of a bruce banner/hulk thing. Protective, reactionary and only for short bursts. I do get a lot of random headaches above my left eye..

[Shaz51]

hugs @Former-Member , @Thesumofus 

[Thesumofus]

Hi @Shaz51 hows ya day?