Lived Experience Forum

[Jules273]

Hi, I am new to this but i feel I am at the point where I have nowhere else to go. I am a single mum of 4. Been single for 16 years. I have suffered from psoriasis since I was 3 months old. Spent my entire childhood being made fun of and bullied so never accepted. Not even from my brother and sister who were very close to each other. 

I also suffer from psoriaric arthritis and struggle every single day and feel  no one understands. I have never felt so alone. I feel the only solution is to end it all now. I honestly believe it would be best for everyone. 

All my family live in QLD and I am in NSW with my children who are all getting older. The youngest is 18. I just don't know the point of continuing on in my life as I have never been accepted nor will I. 

[Whitehawk]

Hello @Jules273 

Welcome to the forums. I am moderating this evening. You have shown a lot of courage to come here and post about your struggles. I am sure you will be able to get support and connection from the wonderful forum members.

I am very concerned about your immediate safety Jules as you mention wanting to end it all. Are you safe?  I will send you an email off the forum to check in with you and offer you some support options.

Please keep yourself safe and phone 000 if you are in a crisis and need help urgently.

regards

Whitehawk

[jem80]

@Jules273 @Whitehawk 

I can only imagine what you must be struggling through on a day to day basis. Many of us here will support you. You are not alone in your struggles. Keep reaching out for help.

I too like @Whitehawk are concerned about your safety and wellbeing, please if you need help dial 000. If you would like to talk to someone you can call lifeline on 131114 or crisis chat online at https://www.lifeline.org.au/ or suicide call back on 1300659467 or chat at https://www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au/

stay safe and take care

[NatureLover]

Hi and welcome, @Jules273 . I'm sorry to hear about the negative lifelong effects of your psoriasis, and that you also suffer from psoriaric arthritis and severe depression. Am particularly concerned that you want to end your life. Unfortunately, I know what that feels like, and it's the worst. 

I'm wondering what professional supports you might have in place... Do you have a supportive GP or counsellor, or maybe medication to get you through?

It's good you've joined the forums, as people here can help you feel less alone. 

[Jules273]

I am on two anti depression meds and have been for a few years. I have also tried a few psychologist but they don't seem to get it so I really don't have a support network. 

My family don't get it and it feels like they have deserted me by all moving to QLD. 

I just don't know what else to do. 

[Moonstone]

Hello @Jules273 sorry to hear that you have been feeling so lonely recently. I can hear how difficult this has been for you. I'm so pleased that you have joined the forum and let us know how you have been feeling though, it take a lot of courage to do. I'm wondering if you might have any specific questions that the community could assist with? Would love to know how we might be able to best support you 🌻🌻

You have mentioned that you have tried speaking with psychologists in the past but did not find them particularly helpful. Perhaps it might be worth trying again? Unfortunately it can sometimes take a few tries to find a psychologist that is the right fit.

I think it's really important for you to stay connected with others right now, so would like to encourage you to keep posting here on the forum and reaching out to helplines. And if you feel like you are unable to keep yourself safe, please do call 000.

If there's anything else we can do to help you feel more supported, please send us an email at team@saneforums.org 

[NatureLover]

That's good you're on some meds, @Jules273 . However, I'm wondering if they might need adjusting by a doctor, as you are feeling suicidal...?

I would also echo @Moonstone in saying that it does take a few tries to find a psychologist that fits. It's definitely worth persevering though, as it's a great help when you do find one that fits. 

Please feel free to keep writing here...people are here to support you. 

[Turtle_guns]

Hi,

im new to this too. I'm struggling with god know what in terms of mental well being and it has now started affecting my

msrriage. To the point where I think it's all gonna come crashing down. Talking only helps for a bit but I too feel like the best way is to end it all but I don't want my 13 month old daughter to grow up without a father figure

[Rainforest]

Hey @Turtle_guns , Rainforest here, one of the moderators.  I thought I'd pop in and welcome you to the forums and also acknowledge that I can hear what a struggle it is for you at the moment.  It's good that you're focussing on reasons to stay alive and I'm really glad that you've reached out for help tonight. 

I encourage you to speak to a helpline like Lifeline 13 11 14 or Suicide Call Back Service 1300 659 467 so that you don't have to go through this on your own.  I'll also send an email soon just to check in and see how you're going.  Take care and stay safe. Rainforest 

[NatureLover]

Hi @Turtle_guns , welcome. I'm sorry to hear you're also feeling suicidal... Do you have a supportive GP you could tell? Or any other supports?