Looking after ourselves
12-09-2019 07:55 PM
Re: Caring for sisters with MI
Relationship with Sis is OK - I ring her regularly but apparently she was stewing a bit as she misunderstood something I said recently, once I explained why I said what I did, she could see I had her interests at heart. I keep sending her funny texts as well as checking in ones so she knows I care. She has not mentioned being suicidal.
Yes we have moved, we now live approx 4-5 hrs away from her. Keeping some distance was important to us (my family can be hard work). Initially I had thought we would try and visit my family a weekend/ month, we might find that a bit much. Might see if we can go every 2-3 months (Dog boarding needs to be sorted, was a problem when we did visit). Family are mindful of Mr Darcy's needs and don't expect constant visits and it might be easier in one way if I visited by myself. I would need to go for 4-5 days to make the bus trip worthwhile.
Relationship with Mr Darcy is thankfully not one sided (only when acute/unwell/in pain is he less than considerate). He is very functional but has trouble understanding medical things and he does have some memory issues too. I have been intentional about making friendships. I think that grief is a lonely thing and I had a lot of that, but thankfully I had an understanding friend and we were good for each other.
I struggled through Mr Darcy's crisis, not coping. I think once I faced the reality of our situation and worked on my own healing from it, things have been heaps better and I think it has helped me understand what is happening with Sis and I find with short visits that I don't get frustrated.