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Looking after ourselves

Rainbow-Dash
Contributor

Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

Hi there.

This is my first time posting & I’m hoping to reach others who might be in a similar situation to myself. My husband was diagnosed with Bipolar 1 disorder, he’s had 2 major episodes with psychotic features, characterised by strong religious delusions. It was extremely confronting to see the person you love behaving so uncharacteristic, devastating too be honest, not too mention fearing for your own safety as you witness your loved one sink into an abyss of paranoia. The experience left me in a high state of anxiety for months afterwards. The last major episode saw a stint in an overseas jail, an involuntary hospitalisation & myself needing to urgently travel overseas to his aid & bring him safely home upon stabilisation.

With each episode I’ve noticed an increase in his piousness & his devotion to religion, he always had some faith but was never a regular church goer, in place of that husband is now one who attends church regularly, weekly bible studies & one that could be reduced to tears from reading a particular bible passage. I have supported him mostly in these changes, thinking faith offers him comfort, guidance & stability with his illness, although I’ll admit it’s still completely bizarre to watch as the husband I have now is not the same as the one I once had. He has made it clear the hierarchy order of things & that God comes first, it’s hard not to feel resentful as this is not what I signed up for. On the flip side of the coin, I wonder does religion also fuel the symptoms? He’s compliant with his medication but not seeing his psychiatrist as regularly as needed to review medication etc. I’ve noticed it comes in waves but he will sometimes go on a religious rant, saying things to me like “I am full of hatred & guided by the devil, I need to repent for my sins otherwise it will be too late”. It’s unsettling & disturbing to say the least, during these times I feel very on edge. Then the following day or 2 he seems more stable, a month or so later the behaviour might repeat itself once more. I don’t know how to feel about the religious side of things long term, I am worried he will push some of his hard line views onto our children. Lately, he’s been unusually jealous, hammering me about things, asking me who I’m trying to look good for because it couldn’t be him. His sleeping patterns are far from on track, unpredictable from one night to the next, it’s clear he needs his medication reviewed & I’m desperately needing him to manage his illness better, I can’t get any acknowledgment from him that the symptoms of his illness might affect him at times, it’s like he thinks the medication is fool proof & he is immune to any mood changes so long as he takes it. This is the short version but I am becoming tired in mind, body & spirit, I think I might be suffering situational depression, I’m finding it challenging to be the Mother I need to be to for our children, I feel I lack patience with them due to the constant anxiety I feel. I do see a psychologist every couple of weeks & have a couple of friends who are confidantes. It’s still however an incredibly isolating experience & I wish I knew someone else who’s also been through something similar, especially in regards to the new found religious fanaticism.

If so, please reach out, I’m becoming very tired & weary & desperately looking for someone who I can relate to.

32 REPLIES 32

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

@Rainbow-Dash Hi Rainbow-Dash I have Bipolar 1 and schizoaffective disorder and when I am having breakthroughs I become very religious, it is quiet common ... if you look online you will be surprised at how many people are affected. I go quite mad in truth ...

I agree with your description of 'coming in waves' it does for me sometimes the water is settled and the tide is out ... other times the waves are crashing on the shore with a huge current underneath. Most of the time there are gentle waves, on the shoreline (that is when the medication is working) ... that being said there is always an swell hidden beneath the surface ...

 I see my psychiatrist once a month at the moment but when I was really sick it was once a week. It really does sound his medications are not controlling his Bipolar ... would he listen to you about going if you went with him? It wont be easy ... sometimes people have to crash completely before they come to terms with their illness and he will crash...

In saying that it is very important that you and your children have a safety net in case things go haywire. Somewhere where you can go with your children for some peace....

 

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

@greenpea Hi Greenpea

Thank you for taking the time to reply, it’s especially helpful hearing from someone who also has bipolar 1, it sounds like you have a lot of insight into your illness which is great! I feel although my husband accepts the diagnosis, he is in denial as to educating himself on the symptoms. Yes I’ve read about the religious aspect of bipolar & it is very common, it’s just such a surreal experience for me as the outsider looking in & watching my husband so steadfast in his beliefs.

Yes, thankfully he’s usually amenable to us going to the psychiatrist together, he just needs some pushing to finally get him there I think.

I wish I did have that respite at times but I worry it might exacerbate his symptoms but it would be worth a discussion with him & gently explaining I may need this for my own well being.

Would you mind to describe what it is like when you have the “break throughs” you describe? Is it an increase in religiosity?

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

You might be describing the height of your mania
as those breakthroughs?

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

@Rainbow-Dash I don't mind at all. It is weird because I am minding my own business when suddenly almost overnight the breakthroughs gradually build up where I become obsessed with another (in my case) religion which I normally would not be interested in. I have done some weird things whilst I was psychotic and I can honestly say during these events I have no control over what I am doing or saying it is only afterwards that I may or may not remember ...

Also I have found sometimes it takes months or even years to remember things that I have done but it is, for me anyway, a terrifying experience, the religious parts, of my psychosis and as your husband experienced can get you into all sorts of trouble.

 

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

@Rainbow-Dash it is like a hurricane approaching land. It builds and builds and then stays there for along time creating havoc for everyone including itself until it gets burnt out and comes crashing in on itself. For me having a breakthough is like that at its worst.

Other times it can be small incidental break throughs of little consequence which dont matter and can be hidden pretty well but I find the religious ones are the worst.

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

@greenpea yes thankfullly my husband & I find humour can take you a long way in these situations. But like yourself my he also describes it as terrifying & something he’d like not to never repeat. This absolute fear keeps him compliant with his medication.

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

@Rainbow-Dash yes its the fear of getting into trouble that keeps me on the straight and narrow with my medications. It is wonderful that he has such a fantastic person like yourself that is helping him along that is invaluable. A loving family is crucial.Smiley Happy

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

@Rainbow-Dash

My husband is a man with faith and he had a religious delusion when he had psychotic depression (has BPii diagnosis).

Patients can become hyper religious when manic and have religious delusions when depressed. Studies have also shown that faith can often be protective; substance abuse and infidelity amongst other things are frowned upon by the church and this can often keep a patient away from these things.

Lack of sleep is a sure way to destabilize mental health and is not a good sign.

Despite being 'go to' people when crises happen, many pastors are not informed and are ill-equipped to understand patients with mental health issues. I found this website to be extremely helpful and it might be worth passing it on to your husband's pastor. It encourages those with faith and mental illness to get appropriate treatment and that the patient needs to do their bit (and that they can live well in spite of a diagnosis).

http://freshhope.us/about-fresh-hope/

Once properly informed, you may find an ally in the pastor who might be able to encourage your husband to go for a medication review.

This is one of the best talks on bipolar and relapse prevention I have listened to, (likewise your husband's pastor might benefit from watching it too).

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=6mdopKvBqNA


Article on religion and mental health

http://www.scielo.br/scielo.php?pid=S0101-60832007000700013&script=sci_arttext&tlng=en

Darcy

Re: Bipolar 1 husband hyper-religious

PS @Rainbow-Dash
If you do decide to see pastor, important to stress confidentiality of your husband's condition.
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