Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[Help88]

Hey all just wondering how many people are out there that are trying to help care for a partner or close friend that has mental health issues/ suicidal thoughts. I'm 32 trying to support my partner with their mental health issues and am finding I'm the one becoming more and more unstable myself. How do I care for someone without falling apart myself as their not the only one I gotta keep together I have 3 young kids also 2 that are non verbal. Without feeling like I'm falling apart as sending them to hospitial atm feels like the worse idea as there health ain't the best and would probably get this virus going around too. I'm so lost on what to do. Any help would be great. Feeling so.alone.

[chibam]

Hi @Help88,

Without knowing the specifics, I can't reccommend much, other then to try to emphasize/cultivate the things that make your partner happy, and minimize/avoid the things that make them miserable.

I appreciate that this can be extremely difficult if you already have your hands full with other stuff as well, and in this modern situation, your options are likely extremely limited.

One thing I'm inclined to reccommend is to try to avoid all the doom-and-gloom of the news cycle as much as possible. That stuff certainly won't help to convince a suicidal person that life is worth living.

[Help88]

Hi@ Chibam
Thank u for what u have said. Today we went to a pain specialist as he has chronic pain syndrome which affects their day to day life. For the professionals to say there isn't much they can do cause of this virus crap. Has really put them in a bad way. I'm now on night watch to make sure they won't be gone in the morning I'm really struggling. I totally feel like breaking down, thank u for what u had said I will try

[Former-Member]

@Help88  24/7 suicide watch is hard work and a crisis is a time when we batten down the hatches and do what is necessary.  Your partner may need to speak to his GP in the first instance 

After an extremely difficult patch, Mr Darcy now has a safety plan in place which has been most helpful and has made a difference to managing his condition. This may be something that could be considered for down the track.

Have you accessed any carer support for yourself in relation to the care you provide to your children? In particular, have you a counselor that can extend their assistance to include your current situation?

I have found if we can talk about things, it helps us manage them. If you don't have this kind of support you may want to call the Sane help line (non crisis support), the suicide help line (crisis support) or the carer gateway/ Carers Australia counseling.

[BrookeK]

Please don't feel alone because you're not. Have you joined the NDIS? Do you see a psychologist or doctor you can talk to?

You are way out of your depth. You sound like a loving caring person but you're taking on too much. You need help and I suggest you start with your doctor. We are lucky enough to live in a country where help is available, and that includes you. Its time to ask for help because you need and deserve it. You are on this earth to live your life, not everyone's. So do for yourself, its not a crime to say you're overwhelmed and you feel like the ship is sinking. Please reach out to your GP and get some help. Life is not meant to be so hard.