Lived Experience Forum

[Kodee]

The ups and downs of depression suck. They happen suddenly, one minute i can be totally happy and the next be in a dark place. I have a hard time expressing my feelings. I only have my husband to talk to which can be hard. I don't want to hurt him. Any suggestions? 

[pennee_l]

Kodee,

These feelings are common, know that. You are never alone, as your heart contains an all knowing love. Sometimes I give myself a hug, and I can feel this love. Any time you need to be loved, do this (or imagine yourslf doing this if you are in public). Eventually you will have the ability to send yourself this love, and then send it in a spsiritually way to people whom you feel connected to. this will lift you up! It took me 50 years to learn this. (I amy best friend). Sending you love right now!

Wendy

[Snowie]

Hi @Kodee,

I suffer from major depressive disorder and can totally understand where you are coming from. I have my husband as a main support for me and I find it extremely hard to talk to him about things, especially when it comes to self harm and suicidal thoughts. I am slowly beginning to open up to him. One things he said to me was that he worries more about me when I don't tell him, so I am trying to be more honest with him.

Do you have any other supports at all?

Have you thought about couple counselling?

Snowie

[Shaz51]

Hello @Kodee, @pennee_l, @Snowie

      I was mentally / emotionally abused when i was young ( but that is another story )

     My husband  suffers from major depressive disorder like @Snowie said but now has  been diagnosed with bipolar 11  and can totally understand where you are coming from.

     he is  slowly beginning to open up to me , but he leaves it for a long time before he tells me . 

I worry more  when he does not tell me things straight away as I can see things building up in him giving him more anxiety and panic attacks

[Kodee]

I know i keep things in so i don't burden my husband.

[Kodee]

Snowie, we have done some couples counseling with the lady i meet with every 2 weeks. It helps some. I know my husbands the same, he worries when i dont talk. I dont want to talk to my grandma, shes been through alot lately.

[Kodee]

Thank you

[Shaz51]

@Kodee

one idea i was thinking was to say to your husband that you find it hard to talk at times

and maybe if you can tell him what you would  like your husband to do at these times

when my husband is low and does not want to talk , we will sit together holding hands and watch some shows we taped

[Kodee]

Ive tryed some of it. I just get frustrated and shut down.

[Snowie]

@Shaz51hungs hun, your hubby is lucky to have you 

@KodeeI understand how it feels like to burden your hubby, I feel exaclty the same way.

Something that helps me is that if I write it down for him. Saying it to his face is hard and uncomfortable, so I write down things, walk out of the room and then he reads it. He comes to me after reading it and we talk about the parts I am comfortable with. Perhaps it is worth trying this.