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Looking after ourselves

eudemonism
Senior Contributor

Moving forward

So, (like many others) it comes down to choices. And I'd like to be moving forward and getting on with life. And achieving the goals I set for myself. Or just keep it simple and satisfying. And minimizing the problems.

I know all I need to know about achieving good mental health. And about how to lead a fulfilling life. But there seems to be only so much I can do for myself (once symptoms, circumstances and side effects are taken into consideration) -plus other factors)

I have a list of goals I'd like to achieve. Or a certain lifestyle I'd like to be living. (And most others would probably say the same) -it's just that I've sort of given up on them and this lifestyle. And my existence has molded around my circumstances. And I've gone with the flow. And found that it's a bit glitchy and has problems left right and centre. And is actually not that great. And definitely not ideal.

I'd like to know I can provide myself with what I need and want. And am secure and comfortable in a good position. And am able to do what I need to do each day. Without any major setbacks or upsets. -but instead it has become a case of taking day bye day. And dealing with whatever life throws at me.

Can I really decide myself into the position of life I would like to be? And who should I firstly and foremost turn too -to help me achieve this? And what should I primarily be focusing on achieving?
8 REPLIES 8

Re: Moving forward

Hi @eudemonism

You have put forward so many great questions, that I think many of us contemplate - so I'm not even quite sure where to start! I'm sure other members will share their own experiences with some of these questions, so I thought I would share some discussions that you might find helpful.

@Former-Member created a great thread on Daily goals, motivation and check in that many people use to share their goals and report back on them. The focus is on daily goals, which usually contribute to big ones. I think you might find this helpful if you're finding big goals overwhelming.

@MoonGal created a specific thread on Exercise and goal setting , I'm not sure if this is one of your goals, but thought I would add it just in case.

 

I'm looking to what others think about your quesitons.

Thanks for posting!

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Moving forward

Wow @eudemonism. I can identify with lots of what you write about just managing to live a day at a time. I can't plan ahead as I don't know how I'll be. I have a lot of larger goals aimed at having some kind of independence and quality of life but am struggling to see how it will ever happen. I guess I've finally come to accept that I have goals but I can only work with how I am now and my capacity to deal with each day as it comes. I think @NikNik was right into breaking it into smaller goals and for me bite size pieces. I think my main goal is to survive each day at the moment and on the good days to fit a bit more in. I think we need bigger goals to head toward but we can only do what we can each day that keeps us steered towards them. I'm not sure if that helps but it's how I'm dealing with it at the moment. Best wishes. 💜🤗

Re: Moving forward

Hi @NikNik and @Former-Member and others to who were mentioned...

-I got told life was about achieving goals. And I came back with (its also about solving problems) so I'm sure we can all relate to how technical these things can be and the variables that come with the scenario.

Thanks for your input. It's always good to get feedback from non bias people. Who don't stand to gain or loose any thing. Plus it helps with defusing tension around the matters and adds new prospective.

-I got things left right and Centre of me. That need dealing with. And a lot of it comes down to finances. (Which I'm sure many understand) and it's just to maintain a basic and simple lifestyle. -without supported housing. I'd probably be homeless. Without social welfare I'd be broke. And without medication. I'd probably be in a world of trouble. Times ten to what already is going on in my life. And it basically means I'm system dependant. And I cannot really see away out of all of it...

It ain't all bad though...

I want more out of life. I want new experiences. And too be living... but unfortunately most of th the time it's just scraping bye and only having the bare basics. And living week to week. And it's heartbreaking to think that this is how my life will be lived. And nothing can really be done about it...

I'll check out the other threads and see what I think about them. Maybe they'll help.

Re: Moving forward

This is such a great topic that you have raised. Especially in being able to hold yourself accountable for your won recovery. It's so easy to decide that society has outed you and just lose the plot. Setting yourself realistic goals is so important in recovering. Due to the stigma in mental illness in this country, it's very easy to discount yourself and go along with the theory that you don't matter becuase you are mentally ill. Stats show us that more than 50% of young Australians are suffering from mental illness and that's getting worse. Your top priority should always be your welfare and recovery plan. It's not about getting well, it's about staying well long term. That's what resignates with me, is being able to help these young people, and instead of the way it was for us older people, saying "There is somebody here to talk to, who understands and has been through exactly what you are going through". Help them get back up.

The government are not responsible enough in this area and are not honest about what happens to someone when they are put into an institution. I'd rather go to jail than go back there. I got involved with some focus group work after I left the hospital, which I thought was a positive thing but they fail to report on the real issues - like women turing up in high dependency units, through no fault of their own and days later, without any outside support, getting their period and being told there are no pads/tampons but no, you don't have the right to go to the local milk bar to get them. I would love to out this whole system in this regard, it's against human rights and all of their nurses support it. It's disgusting!

Former-Member
Not applicable

Re: Moving forward

Thanks for your post @mishyanne73. I'm sorry to hear you haven't always had great experiences with your help-seeking, but I'm really glad to hear you've been able to take the positive from these experiences to drive you to help others. I think you highlight a great point that everyone has different experiences of seeking help and sometimes finding the right help for you can be challenging. It's always good to be honest with the professional you're working with so you can work together to change anything that's not working as well as you'd like. Thanks again for your insights 🙂

Re: Moving forward

i would wholeheartedly agree with that. Working closely with the professionals is the reason I now have my life back.Though it's tricy to put yourself in someone else's hands, if you surrender to that it pays off.

Re: Moving forward

Could someone shed some light onto what a good sleeping routine and daily routine should be like? I know there's the text book versions and then the real life versions. And once things like symptoms, side effects, sun, moon, weather, diet, exercise, lifestyle variations, visitors, obligations and responsibilities (and so on ) are taken into account it can get hectic and there is no real routine at all.

Cause I'd like to be getting more out of each day and life in general. And be feeling better and have a better sense of wellbeing. But don't really know where to start which brings me back to asking questions about things that influence me. Then gets me thinking about what changes i can make.

Cause of the nature of my "problems" illness, condition, disease, sickness, or poor mental health. (Whatever way you wanna look at it.) I'm suffering from stuff like emotional problems, social problems, decision making problems, motivational problems, rage / anger, addictive personality and stuff like that. Along with the standard types of symptoms. And it don't just take a toll on me. It takes a toll on everyone in my life. And it leaves me "disabled" and very frustrated. Plus there is the element of always needing someone to be around and socialize with. (Which usually comes with problems )

Re: Moving forward

@NikNik @Former-Member @mishyanne73 and @Former-Member how has everyone been going? Hoping all is well with yous guys all and the days are taking to much to get through.

I think why i did it was to place a lot of the responsibility in my hands NikNik and to stop relying on others whom cant really do much. I wish id been given more control and responsibility for my own wellbeing long ago. Instead of so much intervention from the system. Not saying others are key to good life. Saying its overly based around the mental illness from the word go.

And Teej you're right. Bigger goals are great. And smaller goals that lead there. Like achieving one small thing a day. Independence and quality of life are great. And also a life with meaning. Like being a valued part of something that has meaning for others. Which youre a valued part of.

And mishyanne73 i get the gist of what youre saying. Its unfortunate but its also true. One may think its more normal to have mental illness then with a statistic of 50% i think a lot of it is about how its perceived and dealt with in the first instances and getting to the external causes of symptoms. For better medicatio free long-term results.

And hello passingcloud

Hope yous guys enjoy the read
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