New member with wife diagnosed with schizophrenia in need of guidance.

[Butama]

I'll try to give a brief outline of our situation. We have been married for 17 years. My wife is Thai and 47 years old, though she is an Australian citizen. We are currently in Thailand, largely due to her first symptoms occurring some 5 years ago whilst living in Australia. At that time I did not recognize the severity of the situation and she insisted on returning to Thailand, I believed this would answer the problem. I followed her to Thailand and she seemed to gain comfort from being home. Being unable to sustain ourselves forever without income I took to returning to Australia to do seasonal work in 2 or 3 month stretches. It was the second of these work trips when her mental health took a turn for the worst. She received local treatment of drugs that had a dramatic impact on her physically but on my return to Thailand gradually came back to normality.

Fast forward a couple of years during which I made 2 more work trips that went without incident though a lot of patience and phone 'cuddling' was required. Recently her mother has been diagnosed with end stage kidney disease and has been in our care since, this has coincided with my my father being diagnosed terminal cancer. We were both planning to visit my family, yet mother in law was very upset that she may never see her daughter again and was unhappy that her care would be passed to other family members, so, we decided I visit my family alone. I waited a fairly long time before I made any bookings for the trip, hopeful that my wife could accompany me, though this was not possible.

At about the same time I had confirmed my trip the first symptoms of the current episode started. My wife, after a couple of weeks of my subliminal encouragement agreed to visit the local psychiatric hospital where she was prescribed drugs in mild dose. a different prescription to the previous that she was plainly fearful of. I have little faith in the local practitioners as they seem only to hand out prescriptions, and I personally have not been present at the consultations and no matter how I try to convince her, my wife does not wish me present (this is, I believe, because she is fearful that I will reveal the full extent of her symptoms).

I had a very difficult time whilst away visiting my family dealing with my wife, and she, I and her family believed there would be relief on my return to Thailand. This is sadly not the case, and it now seems to me at least, to getting worse.

The symptoms - hearing voices telling her all kinds of outlandish conspiracies that include myself, my family and nearly anybody that passes through our lives. These conspiracies seem mainly focused on our relationship and money. She spends a fair amount of time talking to herself, a language I speak very little of. Family members around us who do understand her chatter only threaten to take her back to the hospital. She is emotionally shattered, often sobbing for no apparent reason.

I have been back two weeks now. My whole life is dominated by constant repetitive accusations and questions. She is impulsive, everything she decides has to be done of this minute. She is like a dog with a bone once an issue enters her thinking. In more rational times we have discussed returning to Australia. She is happy with this idea, yet wishes to do so immediately, fails to understand that we cannot live without income and that she would spend significant time without support if I am working, and, that our return requires planning and more importantly her health restored.

I feel that my own mental stability is being affected and very saddened that my beautiful and once happy,hard working and reliable wife is being broken on a daily basis. I feel like I am treading water in a strong riptide.

Any advise would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks in advance.

[Hobbit]

Hi Butama,

I have read your post and I really fell for you in this difficult situation.

It's great that you have decided to post on this forum, so that others may also offer their advice and words of comfort.

I work for an organisaion called ARAFMI NSW, and we have a carer Helpline that can connect people to services that can help. The number is 1800 655 198. They can also email quite a lot of informaiton regarding schizophrenia and how to help a loved one in this type of situation.

Have you considered carer support groups? There are tons of these types of groups around, and the strength lies in talking to other people that may be going through the same or similar issues as yourself. Sometimes this can be the best therapy.

I have also done a search and have come up with this organisation you may wish to contact (they have offices in each states around Australia).

http://www.mindhealthconnect.org.au/partners/mental-illness-fellowship-australia-mifa

There is also Carers Australia that may be able to help you and here's the link:

http://www.carersaustralia.com.au/

What I would like to do on your behalf now is to invite any other forum users to contribute to your post so that you might receive some good direction on where to go/what to do.

Please keep an eye on this forum, as I can confidently say that there are people out there that are willing to help.

Can anyone reply to Butama and offer some support?

[Butama]

Thank thank you for your constructive response. It is comforting to know there is real assistance available.

[CherryBomb]

Hi Butama,

You have so much on your plate: unwell parents, the prospect of moving countries again, and travelling back and forth for work and caring for your wife.  I think it's only normal to feel your mental stability is affected. Things sound pretty stressful for both you and your wife at the moment.

I think mimising the stress as you are doing by focusing on restoring your wife's health, planning ahead, and ensuring that she will be supported during the transitions is a good approach. This can help to prevent more stress that could further impede her recovery. Yet, I can only imagine that trying to do this (in her best interest) with her wanting to do it sooner rather than later can also create more stress and pressure on you. So I hope that you are taking time to care for you. When we get stressed our ability to problem solve can become hindered, and this can make things more difficult. Talking about it, and getting support,like you are on here can be helpful.

Is it possible to speak with her family members? When someone we love is unwell it's a tremendous load to carry for one person so seeking support from others can be helpful. It can also be useful to sit down with the family members and friends and make plans on how to approach the situation. A support agency that may be of use to is MIFA (Mental Illness Fellowship of Australia) who provide services and information for people affected by pychosis or any other mental illness. 

Being in another country with a language barrier sounds challenging too. I'm not sure of what the Thai mental health system is like, but you may be able to report to her practitioners the behaviours that you are observing. Of course, they may be unable to report back to you anything about your wife due to confidentality reasons, but you may be able to provide information that they could use to assess her. 

Having a loved one who is unwell when you are far away from home can be tough, so I hope that you find some support and information on these Forums.

Take care,

CherryBomb 

[PeppiPatty]

dear Butama,

good for you to reach out. It's very easy to become isolated in your situation, Any advice I give is from my past experience and it may not be helpful but hope that it can give you some direction. You write very clearly and with care. thats so nice to read.

.I am a great believer in timetables. something that will ensure that you know what is happening at all times. there's some good daily timetables on a website called pininterest .com there are a display and examples of timetables..., some of them have eight glasses drawn on them to tick off once one is drunk. Then every day from 8am to 9am.....hour by hour what happens. So you can fill in each hour of each day. You can plan your whole week in advance.

It is one idea of minimising your stress. Talking about how to fill in for the week or month will maybe allow you to feel less insecure. Also it can show you how you can take care of yourself and focus on your own limits. By organising your days,I hope that your wife will also feel a lt more relaxed....

when my ex husband was very confused, he would just have a look at the daily timetable so he knew what was happening. Individuals who spend times in mental ill health are always very overwhelmed. What does Psychosis mean? As far as I have been told, It means:

one in psychosis Live in another world..

I feel that the meaning of psychosis is easy to say, easy to learn but for a person experiencing psychosis it must be very scary to live day by day.

do you feel speaking slowly, clearly would be something that you do?

Arafmi really helped me out. I am a person who has lived experience (mental issues) and am now a long distance carer for my oldest son.

Thank you for reading

[ivana]

I hope your able to return to Australia and find some better help.
It's extremely important that members of your wife or your family never use "hospitalisation" as a threat or as a way to control their stress or emotions as this would cause your wife to feel alone,unsupported,fearful and more an "emotional wreck".
Anything that causes her more stress should be avoided as stress can exacerbate these symptoms.

In addition to Schizophrenia,there are many other illnesses that can causes paranoia symptoms.
For example:brain tumors,thyroid disorders,CNS Lupus,Vitamin B12 deficiency,other Endocrine disorders etc...
The fact that your wife only started to get symptoms in her 40's is suggesting that their *possibly* could be another cause.
It would be a good idea to get a good doctor who is interested to look for an alternate causes to her symptoms.

Does your wife have a family history of psychosis?
Did any stressful events trigger her symptoms originally?
Was she going through Menopause when this all started?
Does she have any cognitive decline or is memory,comprehension etc all fine?
Are her symptoms always present or is it episodic?
Have the antipsychotics helped or not?
What is the Kidney disease that her mum has and the cause?

Thanks

[Fatima]

Sounds like she is in a psychosis so no amount of legal reasoning will make any difference. She will still think her way as that is her reality. You definitely need to get her to a psychiatrist and change her anti psychotic medication. Don't you have the support of any family member of hers? The two of you might need to have her committed to hospital. Or if she will agree to see a private psychiatrist. If it were me ai wouldn't take what she says seriously it's pretty much a waste of energy while she is not taking medication. I can't think of any other solution as you can't gung her back to Australia by force. The best yo can hope for that if she gets the right meds she might think a little more clearly.

[Hobbit]

Hi Butama,

Just thought I would send you a quick note to see how you are going. Did you manage to make contact with anyone that could help you out?

[Butama]

Thanks for your concern. No I have not managed to find any help. In my opinion the situation is if anything getting worse, the good times are good and the bad times are more challenging.

I would also like to thank all those who have offered support.

[Hobbit]

Hi Butama,

That's not so good to hear. But please keep us informed by posting on this forum. There are people who can talk to you and offer support.